One of the most important aspects of our relationships as we grow older is emotional maturity.
This is generally developed throughout the teen years and into adulthood.
It is, however, not something that is automatically developed and instead takes both time and practice.
Reading the number 1 book for emotional intelligence is a good place to start.
Practicing our emotional maturity can help heal any emotional pain that we have and develop the skills and qualities that we require to thrive both personally and professionally.
The process occurs over many different years, but it is worth the dedication.
So how do you know when you have developed a good level of emotional maturity?
There are some telltale signs – let’s take a closer look.
This will allow you to identify what you have achieved and what you still need to work on.
1. You understand that people are not mind-readers.
Life is not like a computer game – no thought bubble comes out the side of people’s heads, telling us their innermost thoughts and feelings.
If you feel strongly, it is important to tell others your feelings in order for them to understand, and if you don’t, you cannot expect them to behave or react like you want them to.
Communicating your feelings clearly and calmly can lead to stronger and more understanding relationships between you and your friends and family.
This is one of the most important aspects of emotional intelligence.
2. You can admit when you are wrong
No one is perfect, even if we believe that we do things for the right reasons.
We spend each day looking at situations from our biased viewpoint, and we want to believe we are right, even when we may not be.
A large part of emotional intelligence is recognizing when we have made mistakes and taking responsibility for them.
Let people know you were wrong, and if it negatively impacted them, apologize for your actions.
This will show maturity and strength and lead to others having more respect for you.
3. You can fake confidence until you develop it
Confidence is developed over time, but until you become confident in your role or relationships, you can ‘fake’ or ‘act’ it.
Everyone does in, and part of emotional intelligence is understanding this and not worrying about feeling like an imposter.
We are all trying our best in life, and realizing this will make us feel more comfortable in ourselves.
4. You understand and accept vulnerabilities
As you grow up, you will realize that friendship is not just built on the happy moments you can enjoy together, but also the hard times you can tackle head-on.
It is important to be a strong and stable friend throughout the hard times, offering them space to share their concerns and experiences and become vulnerable.
By being vulnerable and honest with each other when you need to, you can show compassion and love, helping each other through difficult situations.
5. You can easily forgive
As we discussed previously, no one is perfect, and this includes the ones that we love.
There are no people that are one hundred percent good or one hundred percent bad – instead, we are a mixture of the two.
If people around you make bad decisions, then try to look at this objectively by understanding the context and what made them do this.
Discuss their actions and the impact, if any, that they had on you.
If you can, show them compassion as everyone makes mistakes.
They will remember your forgiveness, and this will help lead to a positive relationship between you.
Showing compassion and forgiveness will also make you feel better in yourself.
6. You accept yourself for who you are
Throughout life, too many people spend time focusing on their flaws and not accepting that these make them who they are, focusing on their strengths instead.
Worrying about how other people view you will not do you any good, and part of being emotionally intelligent is that you begin to accept yourself and feel confident.
7. Problems become more manageable
When you are not emotionally developed, the smallest of problems can have a large impact on your life.
Emotional intelligence will allow you to break these into more manageable steps to find a solution if you have a big problem.
With each new day brings new opportunities, allowing you to create new experiences.
Emotional intelligence is about looking at the bigger picture and realizing these problems are not as big as you may think they are.
8. You are more likely to compromise
A famous proverb states, “Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.”
Emotional intelligence allows us to realize that no life is without problems, and we are unlikely to agree with someone one hundred percent of the time.
Therefore, in our relationships, we must compromise to work together through things.
In our life, we must also realize that we cannot have everything and compromise so that we can have the things that are important to us.
9. You understand that no one is perfect
While holding people to a high standard is important, it is also important to understand that nobody is perfect – whether it be your friends, your family or yourself.
Like is not black and white, and people will have different opinions and react differently to situations.
See the good in people – if someone is opinionated, they are passionate, if they are stubborn, they have strength.
You will also realize that you have many traits that people can view differently.
10. You celebrate the small things
Progress and enjoyment in life are not simply about the large celebrations or benchmarks.
Instead, emotional intelligence ensures that you appreciate the small things – whether than is dinner at your favourite restaurant or receiving praise from your boss.
Perfection is a concept that simply does not exist, so constantly striving for it can lead to undue stress.
Always look on the bright side, and appreciate what you have – your situation in life is better than many others, and it is important to appreciate this.